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The current period represents a full decade since the word “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. At the time, the notion that someone could suddenly stop contact with a lover without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, navigating toward a partner has only become more confounding – an oftentimes pointless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media lingo.

Zoomers, a generation who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their millennial predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a extensive glossary to the words gen Z is using to navigate love, intimacy and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – In the view of gen Z, dating’s gold standard is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your partner’s reply is engaged or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while exuding enigma and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This means seeking out someone who supports you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people bond while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do budget-friendly dating in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to pairs who choose against having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of being guarded: utilizing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits suggesting a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their exes unstable, bad gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your choice to date a partner. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe niche, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (nothing builds closeness faster than having a nemesis).

G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and usually everyday repulsions that immediately kill any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {